All the ways I can think of to get away from myself
Busy hands mapping anywhere but here
Roving eyes flitting but never staying for too long
I see what I am doing but then I bolt again
Nervous jaw chewing lips raw just to feel something
Tiredness descending like a fog until I am swathed helpless baby
How are we supposed to do this,
when we don’t even know how to make it right?
I am afraid to slow down to stillness
Afraid of what I might find
Lying there suspended in mid air
Until the tears clog up my passageways
Too weak to sprout, but not weak enough to ignore
The fingernail grip and panic dread
A burial of stagnant weight
We are warriors, weary and bereft of magic
Lost amid the constant rebuilding and forgetting
Done with this world and yet cowering before the next
We yearn to soar, to glide with affectless delight
Promises of freedom cool like the healing waters of a baptism
Why then does it always collapse into a hardness, overrated?
A gritting of teeth as the glory fades and the headaches set in
The looks remain but the essence, the underneath, shifting with tricks
So slippery, the meaning, the feel of it when it’s right
Trying and trying, lost and found
Tinkering in the dark
Around and around
Source: embracetheparadox.com




























